Monday, July 23, 2012

Really? Who Says That?

I don't get it.  I honestly don't get it.  Some people say the strangest things....

Yesterday we dropped Peanut off for a week of summer camp.  This is the first year she has gone alone as I've counseled out at the camp for the last 2 years with her group.  This year Sissy did not want to go - someone had to stay home with her, so I decided to take a year off.

I was approached by a fellow mom yesterday who asked if I would be out at camp again this year.  I told her no because Sissy really did not want to go and that although Sweet Baby is old enough, she has really been having a hard time lately if her and I are apart.

The response was "Really?  Gee Crystal, you must be doing something right for your kids to want to be around you so much.  My kids can't wait to get the chance to go to camp or get away, but that's ok with me because I don't want to be with them that much anyway."  Now, the kicker is....she said this IN FRONT OF her 15 year old daughter.  And this is not the first time she has told me, in front of at least one of her girls, that she "would never want to spend that much time with her kids".

Are you kidding me?!?!?

Please let me say that I do not love every minute of time I am with my children - and trust me, as a homeschooling mom, it is alot of time.  It isn't always easy, sometimes I want to be selfish and run away,  sometimes I wish I could all the school system for just 1 day a week, BUT.....I love my girls.  I made the choice to have them all, I'm interested in what they do, the memories they make, the young girls they have become, and I want to share that with them.   It is very hard for me to understand the mentality that you would not WANT to be with your kids.

I do understand that, sadly, society has told us that "normal" and "necessary" is that two parents work and that once your children are old enough, we put them on a bus and send them to school.  I do understand that on a surface level.  I was that mom.  Sissy was in public school until 3rd grade, Peanut was in school for kindergarten.  But, it never felt "right".  After awhile, I began examining options.  Homeschooling was laid on my heart and in all honesty, I wanted to ignore it.  I wanted God to leave me alone and go bother someone else.  I loved my girls, I had spent more than 8 years as a stay at home mom, still had a few years to go and was content with that - however, I was excited about the prospect of working again and making some money.

Now, I'm thankful that God did change my heart and open my eyes.  For me, homeschooling, which began as the best educational choice for my children, has become about so much more.  It has become about character training, direction, family time and thankfully a way to shelter my kids from a world that grows them up to fast.  My choice is not the only choice, I do get that but I have such a hard time understanding how a mother could not want to be with their children the little bit of time they are home (after they have spent 7-8 hours in school, mom and dad have spent a day at work) let alone verbalize it in front of their children.

My prayer is that my girls can SEE how happy I am to be with them each day.  That they can see how happy I am that I chose to listen to God's direction.  It is not always easy and trust me, many times I do not show them how blessed I know I am.  I let the day get the better of me - the bickering, the disobedience, the  mess, but in the end, I hope they never grow up and say, "Yeah, my mom didn't want to spend time with me.  She was excited when I had somewhere else to go, someone else to hang out with."    

1 comment:

Heather B said...

AMEN TO THAT! I've heard variations of that comment more times than I care to say, but never in front of someone's own child. Wow! I've never understood it either. Thanks for the reminder that even though we would never say something so careless or hateful in front of our children, that they need to see how blessed and happy we feel by our choice as often as possible. Great post.