Wednesday, September 7, 2011

A Place of Anxiety for This Homeschooling Mom

Sigh...this post is a post of rambling, that maybe many of you will not be interested in, but I had to get it out.

As much as I know that homeschooling is the best decision for my kids on many levels, I stress constantly about how much I am giving them academically. I know that we are doing alot...but in previous years I have worried if we are doing enough. This year I feel like I'm expecting to much. ACKKK! How on earth do we know what the "right" amount is?

I have a 7th grader who struggles with anything English related. Writing, spelling, vocabulary, etc. I did have all the girls tested this summer by a teacher friend. I just wondered where they fell with their reading. Unfortunately this friend's test only went up to the 5th grade. Sissy took the test and my friend determined that she was probably only a little bit behind 7th grade. But not even a full grade. So, I push Sissy to read books that are "at her grade level" and it drives me nuts when she is constantly found choosing books at the library that are of a 4th or 5th grade reading level. One reason her reading ability concerns me so much is for things like her science this year. She is doing this independently and so far has not gotten any of her questions right. I know this is a whole new ball game - she is older and now has to be thinking differently.

My 4th grader has always excelled at all things English, but the last two years she has struggled with her writing. It hasn't seemed like her writing has progressed much in the last 2 years. Run on sentences abound, capital letters are missing (or present when they shouldn't be), details are hard to get from her, and all of this is not for lack of trying.

Now, for my 2nd grader, things are MARVELOUS this year. Yes, I know we are only on week 3, but the improvement I see is amazing. However, she still complains that she does not want to write anything. She wants to do everything orally because it "makes her hand hurt".

Of course, if they struggle with something my thought it - practice, practice, practice right? But then here I sit feeling like I'm expecting to much. SIGH...this journey is a delightful one but the stress as we trudge on is sometimes very overwhelming. If you know a homeschooling family, please pray for them. Pray that mom is always aware that she is doing God's work and that "it will all be ok", please pray that the kids recognize their responsibilities and most importantly that God is always present in the decision making.

Disclaimer: I know that this is the life I chose. I am not complaining at all, just sharing the struggles of my heart.

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